“Who am I?!” I mumbled under my breath. I dropped the scrubber in the toilet bowl and the bad attitude kicked in. I had not imagined my life going in this direction. I had dreams. I had goals. I wanted to make something of myself. I had read about Christians going off and doing great things for God. Healings, revivals, moving to foreign countries and making a statement with one’s life for God… and here I was as a janitor, scrubbing toilets. In all my years I thought I would never be here. I even told God I would never be a janitor, and yet here I was. Did God forget I told him I would never do this? I had been working my way out of debt from a chunky school and car loan so I could go off and volunteer with a non-profit organisation called The African Children’s Choir. To travel with Ugandan children around the word and help them raise money for their education was my goal. And here I was scrubbing toilets and vomit out of carpet. God must not have received the memo.
When I started to question mine and God’s sanity I would go back to verses and quotes on encouragement that I had written down to remind myself of God’s faithfulness. He is a good God (Psalm 119:68), he wants me to have the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4), I do have the mind of Christ and I am made in his image (Genesis 1:26, 27; 1 Corinthians 2:17) and so many other promises I had found. I would read them and remind myself that even though I am not where I want to be, I know God will get me there. If I could trust one person, God would have to be it, because he made me and loves me. He didn’t create me to torture me, but to have a relationship with him. He knew my dreams, and with him I could get there.
In Jeremiah 29:11, it says “’For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart’.” If the Bible says God cannot tell a lie (Titus 1:2) than I can trust him with my life and that’s it. I have found this to be true and as I look back I laugh. I am sure I earned my childhood nickname from my sister — Mello-dramatic — during that time.
Three years have passed since I was a janitor back home in Oregon and I am so glad God put me in that spot. I learned so many lessons as I served my church and its grade school through high school, plus I learned great cleaning tips. I did make it to The African Children’s Choir and toured with Choir 41. As I toured with them, I came across the New Wine Discipleship Year course, and with that, checked off another dream. I had dreamt of crossing the ocean and living in London since I was ten years old. God is faithful, and when we live by faith it pleases him. (See basically all of Hebrews 11.) God knows we are not perfect and we will never be perfect, but he wants us to do our best. Even when we have attitudes it doesn’t change his feelings about us. He loves us (Psalm 86:15; John 3:16; Ephesians 2:2–5) more than we could ever imagine. And his love never fails (Psalms 136:1, 2).
Melody Lovenburg grew up in a small country town in the United States. She is currently working as a volunteer intern with the youth and administration office at All Saints Church, Woodford Wells. She loves coffee, travel and basically everything British.
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